Crimea Prosecutor Natalia Poklonskaya To Take On Conchita Wurst

Russia has stepped up the battle against the moral corruption signified by the likes of Austrian Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst by announcing that crime busting Crimean prosecutor general Natalia Poklonskaya is to take over judging as part of the new Russian alternative to Eurovision.

Natalia became an Internet hit after a video from a press conference from her went viral, with her good looks inspiring Japanese animi cartoons, video games and love songs.

And now the good-looking crime buster more noted for her tough clampdown on protest movements in the Crimea is now tackling the Eurovision issue.

Russia announced it was creating its own alternative to the Eurovision after a number of victories by singers like cross-dressing Austrian Conchita Wurst who they accused of corrupting public morality and devaluing common decency.

They want a return to grass roots values without gay or transsexual performances, and as a result announced that this October they will be once again be staging the mothballed Intervision Song Contest (ISC).

The ISC was first staged in Poland between 1977 and 1980 and included post-Soviet states and members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation. It was basically the Eastern Bloc equivalent to the Eurovision Song Contest, and the voting method involved people simply switching on the lights at home to indicate their support for a candidate because many people at the time did not have telephones. The local electricity power generation company would then measure the increase from the switched on light bulbs, and votes would be awarded accordingly.

The contest folded because of the rise of the Polish independent trade union movement, Solidarity, which was judged by other Eastern-bloc countries to be counter-revolutionary, and who boycotted it as a result.

But now the contest will return in October featuring both ex-Soviet states and members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation and this time the Russian entry is being organised by Natalia, who was apparently personally selected by Vladimir Putin. It was Putin in 2009 who first proposed restarting the competition and after the victory of Conchita Wurst the relaunch has now been confirmed.

A spokesman for the Moscow Mass Communication Ministry said: “The participation of the prosecutor general will guarantee impartiality in the selection of winners.”

She has reportedly been roped in from currently working on clamping down on Crimean Tatars that have been protesting in front of the new Russian regime installed in the peninsula.

Natalia has already banned the marches as an illegal protest and warned: “If violations will not stop, the Council of Crimean Tatars will be abolished and its activity will be prohibited in the Russian Federation.”

The Tartars are recognised as an ethnic group in the Ukraine that are particularly prominent in the Crimea region.